Seven Years
by twimax
Summary: A short collection of diary entries reveals a Renesmee Cullen far more troubled than expected. The clock ticks on, counting down to the seventh year. R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. All belongs to Stephenie Meyer and her wonderful imagination.**

**This is an idea that has been bouncing around in my head for a long time. Despite Meyer's insisting on the perfect future life for Nessie and Jacob, there was no way I could accept that. There are too many issues with Renesmee's growth, too many opportunities for something to go wrong. Physically, she is just fine. Emotionally, however, she may not have the advantage of time to mature fully the way children should have. The story will have seven chapters-one for every year. Hope you enjoy.**

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_To my momma and daddy, aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas, and Jake. They will always love me with the greatest love they can give. _

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**Year One**

Dear Diary,

Even if we have just met, I could already tell that you are my favorite present of all.

Today was my birthday, and everyone says that I am 'officially' one year old.

I woke up this morning with a kiss from my momma and a hug from my daddy. Momma laughed and told me how heavy I was getting.

She gave me a pretty ring with a heart shaped stone, and pointed to the words "more than my own life" which could be seen through. It was beautiful and shiny but I wanted something more.

I touched my momma's face and felt how smooth it was. I thought of her and how she glowed when the sunlight touched her, brighter than any crystal.

All the time, I compared it to my own skin and felt frustrated that I could not acheive any more than a shimmer.

Momma saw this and laughed. With her hand slipped under mine, she held our palms up facing a ray of light. She pointed to me.

It was only a reflection of her skin that added the other layer of sheen that seemed to dance in front of my eyes. But it was Momma's secret way of telling me.

We are the same.

When we went outside, all our friends and family were there.

Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie gave me a purple bicycle. I got new clothes and a gold watch from Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. Daddy had new music to give me and another set of books.

Finally, I got you.

Carlisle and Esme, my grandparents, gave me a thin notebook decorated with a design that reminds me of spider webs.

They said that you would give me the answers I needed, if I used you properly. And then I could not wait to start writing.

My name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen. My parents are Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. My best friend in the world is Jacob Black. I have not started going to school yet, but I will soon and I am excited for it.

Most importantly, I am very special. My momma gave birth to me under 'difficult circumstances'. And when I touch people, I can make them see what I see.

Everyone says that there is no one like me.

I am both a vampire and a human. I am 'unique'.

Also, I am not bad. I do not drink human blood like other vampires.

I never drink Grandpa Charlie's blood when he comes to visit. I stopped drinking blood from the hospital months ago even though it tasted better.

I learned how to hunt animals when I was just a few weeks old, and now I have good control.

Grandpa Carlisle asked me to write down my wishes. I wish for everyone to be safe so I can stay with Momma and Daddy forever, like they promised. When I grow up, I want to have many friends and wear pretty dresses every day.

I can call you the first of these friends because you are someone new to talk to.

Even if I only write in this diary once a year on my birthday (I asked Carlisle about this; he told me it would be easier this way), it is still something of my own.

_Nessie_

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**R&R please. I prefer reviews that are specific, but just an acknowledgement that you spent time reading this is good enough. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. *starts muttering* Dammit...**

**Note: Thanks to anyone who visited the story yesterday! Ya'll are great!**

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**Year Two**

Dear Diary,

I turned two years old today. While technically my birthday party was just as wonderful as last year, things happened. And I don't know why or what they are about.

I read over my first diary entry. As it turned out, I did not end up going to school this year.

This morning, I walked down the stairs of the big house and heard arguing. It sounded like Momma, Daddy, Grandpa Carlisle, and Aunt Rosalie.

I did not understand what they were talking about at first, but the more I listened, the more I found out that they were talking about me.

Momma and Rosalie wanted me to go to school.

They said that I should be able to act normal like the human kids. It was September. There was still time to enroll.

I could pass for a second grader and it would seem less suspicious if I were taken to school at an earlier age instead of being placed there when the time came for high school.

Carlisle did not like the idea.

I was still growing too fast and a teacher or some other adult would definitely notice. He wanted to wait until my growth 'stabilized'.

I guess Daddy heard me listening. The talking faded away. He walked to the bottom of the stairs and smiled as a happy birthday greeting.

The rest of the day went by fast, but I kept noticing the way that Aunt Alice stared at me.

Alice is special because she can see the future. She knows what will happen before it really happens. But when my Aunt looked at me today, it felt as if she didn't know anything at all. Like someone could throw a pillow at her and she wouldn't already have a pillow in hand, the way she always does.

Later, I thanked her for the new clothes and said how nice it was to be finally able to move my shoulders around. I thought that maybe I was not being nice enough.

Daddy told me afterward that I should not worry at all. There was no problem and if there was, it was not any of my fault.

I didn't completely believe him and I'm sure he knew that. He can read minds.

My favorite part of the day was when Jake came with my sugar cookies. We hunted together right after eating birthday cake and spent the rest of our time finding ways to make each other laugh.

If I could love anyone after my Momma and Daddy, I would choose Jake.

I say that he is like a brother to me, but I know that that is not right. Big brothers can be very mean sometimes, and Jacob was never mean.

He is fun, caring, and patient. I told him everything that I was thinking today, showed him the conversation from this morning and what I saw in Alice. I asked for answers and was surprised that he said what everyone else had already said.

Plus, he looked nervous and wanted to talk about something else.

My only hope left was in this diary. I read over the first page again and again until I memorized it. I pictured that day in my head. Rewind, replay.

No luck. Either Carlisle was wrong, or I'm not using you correctly.

I never told anyone this, but I really want to go to school. Half of what I eat is human food so I could get used to the taste. I practiced walking slower and not as straight, like the people on TV. I was not good at first, but I know I've gotten better.

I thought of what I would do if my best friend from school came over, and I wrote up plans. I was careful to include everything fun, but nothing dangerous. I would not want her to get hurt.

Or start bleeding.

I don't want to save these plans for another year.

I practice every day, acting human, and it is not enough. I'm angry.

I'm also angry at Aunt Alice. I talk to Aunt Rosalie, Uncle Emmett, and even Uncle Jasper. They talk to me, too. We have played and laughed with each other at least once.

Not Alice. She does not want to be around me. I come into a room and she leaves right away.

But I know that she loves me. Everyone says so, and if she didn't she would not be buying me so many clothes.

But why can't we talk? Did I hurt her? Why has she been looking at me like she is afraid?

I am about to fall asleep in my cottage bed with a warm woolen blanket wrapped around my shoulders, a stuffed teddy lying by my side, and a thick Steinbeck resting on the bedside table.

If only I weren't still so confused.

_Nessie_

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**YOU! Yeah you. Review please? :)**


	3. Alice's Vision

**Disclaimer: Still nothing. All goes to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Note: So I was asked to post other non-birthday entries. Well, here ya go! :) This isn't actually one of Nessie's diary entries. It is a scene that started out as a writing exercise for me and turned into something bigger. This is the event that accounts for most of the Cullens' behavior. It takes place quite some time before her first birthday party. I might also publish this as a separate story and use that as a place to publish any other extra scenes. Hope ya'll enjoy!**

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Alice's POV

Her eyes never left the doll that was being cradled gently in her hands. Soft, brown eyes. Springy ringlets of auburn hair that fell to the middle of her back. An innocent face with expressions that changed spontaneously: one second, deep in concentration; the next second, upright with joy and laughter.

With Nessie in the room, my abilities always drew to an agonizing blank. She was one of the few creatures I have encountered whose future I could not foresee. While six of my senses remained sharp and unhindered, my seventh sense (the one I depended on most) seemed nonexistent. It never felt right, and I never felt secure.

This time, however, I welcomed the mystery. Forced into a state of ignorance, my mind disposed of every outside influence—one by one- until I was left with thoughts that were actually my own. It was nice, for once, to observe with a curious eye.

"Aunt Alice." she addressed me.

"Hmmm?"

"Her hair." Nessie tucked its lifeless strands behind both ears. "What should I do?"

"Braids." I took the delicate thing in my hand. Such a plastic smile. An idealized, unchanging body. The contrast between the child stirring in front of me and the rigid figure I was holding was quite substantial. The doll was a fixed entity. Renesmee was certainly not.

I contemplated over this as I worked over my part. Done. Wrapped the elastic band around once. Twice. Then I was plunged into the familiar swirl of images.

_Shimmering crystal littering the white carpet (Is that Esme's vase?). Flash of red, then black (Anger? Lust? Or both?) A boy. A human boy. (Who is he?) Drops of black liquid (Not ink. __SPILLED BLOOD__...the blood of whom should not exist). Blank. Blank. Bella and Edward staring down, in anguish. Rosalie yelling. Carlisle struck by horror. Blank. School bus driving by, completely packed (no, was it?) Blind spots_ _taking form. An animal? A person? (Who is causing this?)_

"Alice..." a girl groaned. She seemed far away."Your braid fell apart! Here, give it to me and I'll brush out the creases. I think it would make both sides look more even if we...Aunt Alice?"

_Shutters (no...) The shutters fell down. _

I'm losing it.

_Curtain closed. _

Blind again.

_Back to nothing. No more future._

"Aunt Alice? Can you please-"

"SHUT UP!" The future was gone. I couldn't think anymore. "Shut...up! You're giving me a headache!"

Immediately, after every vision, my mind starts to work frantically. Something was going to happen, that was for sure. When, why, and how? Sudden or gradual? This was not going to work. What good was it to warn the others if I don't know what to warn them about? This was utterly, completely _useless_!

I finally noticed my niece's attempt to regain composure. She swallowed down her astonishment and distress at my outburst and waited.

I should have been ashamed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Nessie. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." She nodded her head once. I always admired her maturity.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. Just stay outside for a little bit so I can think. It is _very _important. Do you understand?"

"Do I get to know what you saw?"

I thought about the blanks-the spots in my vision that should have been concrete. It might not be a good idea to tell her about this now. Not if it was possible that she was somehow apart of this.

"Not now," I shook my head. Her shoulders hunched, slightly. "I can't explain. But I promise to make it up to you."

Renesmee swept up her scattered toys until they were bunched within her arms.

"Then meet me outside when you're done thinking. Promise Aunt Alice?"

"Of course." I kissed her forehead in gratitude. "Thank you."

The door shut closed. I had to start moving right away.

"I told you everything!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Within fifteen minutes, all of us were situated around the living room table. With Jasper's hand grasping mine under the table, waves of calm overtook me that was not of his artificial doing. Carlisle and Esme listened to my story with their full attention. Bella and Edward stared at me, two pairs of concerned eyes. Rosalie was half-standing, palm slammed onto the table, nostrils flaring. Emmett had his head down and seemed to be tracing patterns on the polished wood.

"I told all of you. There was a smashed vase on the floor, the colors red and black, a human boy with blonde hair and brown eyes, blood, and a school bus. That's all."

"And flashes to ourselves, our expressions." Edward added. "But the images are so ambiguous that it could mean anything."

"I don't understand." I covered my face with one hand. Gone was my confidence...again. This couldn't be happening. "I've never seen anything like this before."

"Well, what of the blind spots?" Rosalie demanded. "That's a clue, isn't it? How many creatures do we know of that are immune to Alice's premonitions? The wolves!" Her hand clenched. "They must have something to do with it."

Esme spoke softly. "Rosalie, the wolves are only one factor. There is one other person who could be involved."

This statement put the room into silence. Somehow, I knew that we were all thinking of the same thing: bronze hair, rosy cheeks, chocolate brown eyes...dimpled, white hands...hands dripping with blood...

"But we don't _know_, do we?" Emmett looked up. "Like Edward said, it could mean anything. Maybe we're all just, you know...overreacting."

"That is exactly the problem, Emmett." Carlisle answered. "_We don't know_."

"Were the colors suggestive of anything, Alice?" Jasper asked.

"Yes." I whispered. "Emotion. Strong, overpowering emotion."

"But I thought your visions only predict what can be perceived visually?"

Edward growled, "Then that is _ridiculous_! How can you _see_ emotion?"

"You can't. Not unless..."

"There was a way to project it." Bella finished, her eyes widening in fear.

"_Nessie." _So now we knew.

So now we could do something.

Esme sniffed. Her bottom lip quivered. "Red and black? You don't mean violence? Or...oh, God...not death?"

"No!" I shook my head furiously. "No, no, no...it wasn't. Or it didn't feel like it. They were..." I struggled to find the right description. "_Engulfing_. More like..."

"Like a combination of aggression and seduction." Edward murmured.

"Yes, perfect. That's exactly right."

"That doesn't solve anything." Rosalie said. She was right.

"Then we need to keep an eye on things." By that, Carlisle meant that _I _should keep an eye on things. "We can't be sure of anything until we learn more. If one of our family—and that includes the wolves- is in danger, we must do all we can to protect them." He turned to me.

"Alice, I understand the strain this will put on you and I apologize. Is there something we can do?"

"It's fine, Carlisle." I assured him. "I love her too."

"I know." he said, warmly. "And I know that you will do the right thing." Carlisle left the room and was soon followed by Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. I encouraged Jazz to go on without me. Now, only Bella and Edward were left.

I wrapped my arms around my best friend to comfort her.

"I'm sure it's nothing." I said. Edward looked at me from behind Bella's shoulder and shook his head.

_The blood. I know._

"Either way, we shouldn't tell her." Bella said. "There's no reason to scare her. And there's nothing she would be able to do."

"Yes, you're probably right."

"And we should tell Jacob." she decided with a sigh. "He can take care of himself. I'm not worried about him. But I suppose Renesmee would be considered his business too."

I gently slipped away from Bella's grasp, tapped Edward's shoulder in solace, and walked out of the room.

Maybe I _was_ overreacting. I chuckled to myself. A few threatening situations throughout the past couple of months, a short period of constant paranoia, and this is what happens afterward. Maybe I was just looking for something to watch out for now that things have gotten boring. Damn, I need a shopping break.

Suddenly, my foot brushed upon the pair of slippers Nessie wore inside the house. I gasped shortly and dashed to the door. Ugh, so stupid! My hand was on the doorknob and I started to turn it...

_Black liquid. Spilled blood._

I froze.

My vision was interrupted because _she _was in the room. Her future should not be able to hold its own existence. I can't see her. But does that mean that I shouldn't see anything at all?

When I looked through the window, Nessie was, as I expected, still there, playing with the same doll as before. Of course, Rosalie stood close by, doubling as a playmate and potential bodyguard.

If everyone was depending on me to keep an eye on things, they would want my visions to be as clear as possible. In this case, I don't think I can protect someone and be around them at the same time.

Nessie ran her fingers through the doll's hair, seeming to be occupied, but her eyes frequently darted towards the setting sun. The crease between her eyebrows deepened with every second light disappeared behind the horizon.

My heart sunk.

I let go of the doorknob and stepped away.

It took almost all of my free will to not look back.

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